


the other side of the evening sun

by yorumi



Category: Free!
Genre: Day 1, Ensemble Cast, Firsts, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-26
Updated: 2015-01-26
Packaged: 2018-03-09 01:51:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3231737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yorumi/pseuds/yorumi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Yamazaki Sousuke connects with old friends, makes some new ones, and relearns the meaning of hard work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the other side of the evening sun

**Author's Note:**

> The title is taken from the K-On! OST.

The same day Rin boards a plane to Australia with Nanase, Sousuke's parents greet him back home with a warm smile and waste no time in telling him that they want him to go to college.

“But I don't know what I'd even study,” Sousuke says as they're sitting in the kitchen, waiting for the water to boil.

“You don't know anything about carpentry either. What makes you think you'd be better at it than any other career?” his dad says.

“Well, I was sort of hoping my father would show me the ropes,” Sousuke grits through his teeth, hands bunching into fists under the table.

“You never cared about it as a kid. And you don't look very enthusiastic about it now, so don't go telling me you have a newfound interest.”

He can't counter that. “But what if I fail all the exams?”

“You're a smart boy, son. If you apply yourself, I have no doubt you could enter any school you wanted.”

“And you don't have to worry about the money, if that's what you're going to say next,” his mom chimes in. “We have enough to cover for you even if you want to go to Tokyo.”

“We just want you to keep your options open,” his dad says, wiping his glasses on his shirt. “You can come back here any time you want, but I think you will do much better outside. Just... give it some thought, at least.”

“I...” Sousuke sighs. “Okay. I'll think about it.”

His mom winks as she sets down a cup of tea in front of him.

*

Sousuke spends an afternoon at Gou's place. He is assaulted by Mrs. Matsuoka as soon as he arrives, who fusses over how tall he's gotten since she last saw him and invites him to come by more often.

He and Gou play video games in her room until their wrists start to hurt and the sun starts to set. It's a hot day, but the fan is on at full blast and they're enjoying the current on their faces. The floor is strewn with the wrappings of all the candy they've eaten.

“If Rin saw this he'd throw a fit,” Sousuke says, poking at a bright pink plastic. “I wonder what he's doing right now.”

“So are we going to talk about your shoulder or not?” Gou shoots with no warning and a stern look in her eyes.

He flinches. She hadn't spoken a peep about it or even looked at him like she wanted to talk, so he had let his guard down. His shoulder isn't even hurting today.

“I'm not sure what you want me to say. I screwed up, then I screwed up some more, and here I am now,” he shrugs.

“But why couldn't you _tell_ anyone?” she asks, turning around to face him properly. “Wouldn't that have been easier?”

“Because... I wanted to try swimming the relay, and I knew Rin wouldn't let me if he knew. And I didn't want anyone to treat me like I'm...” He trails off, but Gou seems to understand. He doesn't say 'and because he would cry' because really, there are some things Rin's sister does not need to know.

Sousuke rubs his neck. “Look, I know it wasn't the smartest thing to do...”

“It was completely stupid.”

“Yeah.”

“Was it worth it?” Her tone is so serious that he sits up straight and looks at her squarely in the eye.

“Yeah.”

Gou sighs, closes her eyes and shakes her head a bit. “I know my brother is not the sharpest tool in the box when it comes to other people's feelings, but he really cares about you. And so do I. So next time you're having a problem, just tell us. You don't have to keep it all to yourself.”

He swallows past the sudden tightness in his throat, and says quietly, “Okay.”

They stay in comfortable silence for a few minutes in the dimming light of the evening, until Gou bursts suddenly, “I still can't believe he up and left without telling anyone about it and took Haruka-senpai with him!”

Sousuke snorts. “You know Rin. He has always been a bit rash.”

“Please, 'a bit rash' doesn't even begin to describe it,” Gou rolls her eyes, but her smile is fond.

*

Rin comes back just in time for Nationals, looking like he's taken a weight off his shoulders. Sousuke watches him. He watches him running around, giving advice to all the team members. He watches him watch Iwatobi's relay, and celebrate their happiness. He watches him win his races, and it fills him with a feeling so exhilarating that it's almost dizzying.

Sousuke watches him and thinks, you've come so far, and you have so many places left to go.

*

A week later, he sneaks out of the dorms for a doctor's appointment. He knows he doesn't need to, that it's all out in the open now, but a part of him still dreads confronting Rin about the issue, dreads the careful and intent looks Rin shoots at him when he thinks Sousuke isn't looking.

The train is mostly empty, and he spends the ride wondering how he's going to explain himself to his physician. Dr. Furukawa may be tiny, but she is also frightening.

Sure enough, she looks like she wants to whack him over the head as soon as he finishes telling her how his last race went.

“It appears you are dead set on ignoring every piece of advice I give you,” she says, rearranging the papers on her desk and not looking at him.

He looks at his lap and murmurs, “Sorry.”

“Sorry? There's nothing to apologize to me about. You've made your own bed and now you're lying in it.”

“Yes,” he says, lowering his head even more.

She exhales heavily. “One year.”

“What?” He looks up to find her looking at him strictly but not unkindly.

“For one year, you will follow my exercise plan to the letter, and you will come here once a month, and most importantly, you will not strain your shoulder in any way, and then we will see how you're doing. Because you may have given up on a swimming career, but I haven't given up on your shoulder, and you shouldn't either. Is that clear?”

“Yes, ma'am,” she startles out of him. The part of his brain that isn't shocked by this proclamation is telling him that he had better buckle up.

*

He hasn't yet opened the door to his room all the way when Rin all but jumps on him.

“Did you go to the doctor? How did it go?”

...Ah. He should have known, really.

“It's... it was fine,” he says, avoiding Rin's eyes and moving past him to his desk.

“Fine? What do you mean, _fine_?

“She gave me some new exercises and told me to come back next month.”

Rin looks like he wants to ask more, but he doesn't push it, and Sousuke breathes a silent sigh of relief.

He gets it. He gets it, but he didn't come by his decision lightly, and he can't go back on it now.

“Oh, by the way, Momo was looking for you. I think he wants to ask you about some new technique he's been trying,” says Rin as he comes to sit by his side.

“Not again...” Sousuke slumps in his chair and Rin throws him a toothy grin.

“You're going to do it anyway, stop acting like it bugs you.”

“Shut up,” he says halfheartedly and prods at Rin's shin with his foot. Rin returns the kick, and Sousuke laughs, at ease.

*

He keeps going to practice, even though he doesn't enter the pool anymore. He's not avoiding it, honest, he just... he doesn't want to spoil the memory of his last relay.

Still, he doesn't have the chance to get bored. Rin won't say it, but he welcomes any help he can get at managing such a large team, and the first years—probably led by Mikoshiba's example—have taken to consulting Sousuke about their postures and training regimens. He finds that he doesn't mind much.

One day, when he's timing one of the breaststroke swimmers, Nitori approaches him, fidgeting.

“Yamazaki-senpai, can I ask you a favor?”

“Sure.”

“I need to buy a new pair of goggles and I was wondering if you could help me pick one? I would ask Rin-senpai but I think he has something to do and—”

“Okay, okay,” Sousuke holds up a hand, smiling. Nitori starts to beam at him but he's rudely interrupted by Mikoshiba, who ambushes him from behind and hangs an arm around him.

“Ooh, are you two going shopping? Can I come too? I need to buy some supplies for Pyunsuke and the rest and maybe I can try on a new swimsuit and I also need to start looking for a Christmas present for Gou-san and also—” Mikoshiba jabbers on.

So that is how Sousuke spends a Saturday afternoon comparing at least fifteen different pairs of goggles with Nitori and keeping an eye on Mikoshiba to prevent him from unleashing disaster on the shops they visit. When he gets back, he's feeling so tired that he heads directly for Rin's bed and falls face-first on it. Rin just looks up at him from his desk and smiles like he knows something Sousuke doesn't.

Well. He supposes his day could have been worse.

*

His visits to the gym are now filled with light moves for rehab, instead of the physically demanding exercises he used to do not that long ago. If he's honest with himself, he misses the strenuous activity, the rewarding pull of his hot muscles, the drops of sweat sliding down his face and his back; but there's something oddly satisfying about the repetitive, laid-back movements he's doing now.

If anything else, it's leaving him with a lot more time to use for studying. He's been to the guidance counselor to talk about his options, and he isn't sure yet where he wants to go or what he wants to specialize in, but he needs all the hours he can get if he wants to do well at the entrance exams.

He's sitting alone at the cafeteria one day, peering through the brochures the counselor had gotten for him and picking absently at his food, when Mikoshiba appears and sits down in front of him.

“Heya, Yamazaki-senpai! Do you mind if I sit here?”

“You already are,” Sousuke mumbles, and goes back to reading.

“Hey, that's my brother's school!” Mikoshiba says, chewing on his food and pointing at a paper among the pile. “He says it's pretty nice. Are you going to go there too?”

“I don't know yet.” Sousuke picks up the pamphlet, considering it. He's only spoken to Mikoshiba the older a couple of times, but he seems like a nice enough guy, and it would be a familiar face... There are many other factors he has to consider, but for the moment, he arranges the brochures and leaves that one at the top.

*

The cultural festival rolls around and before Sousuke can have any say on the matter, he finds himself dressed up in butler garb, serving coffee to stargazed girls from other schools. Mikoshiba is on kitchen duty—though he still has to wear the maid outfit, and that is something Sousuke could have done without seeing—and Nitori is manning the register. There are at least six members attending the customers at any given moment. Rin is taking the lead and doing an astonishing impression of a professional host, radiant smiles and all.

“You look like you're enjoying this,” Sousuke whispers to Rin in passing.

“Shut the fuck up,” Rin hisses back, red-faced, and Sousuke scurries away before the kick can connect.

He feels like he's been working for hours when he hears a familiar voice.

“Hi, onii-chan, you're looking great! Table for three, please!” It's Gou, flanked on either side by Hazuki and Ryuugazaki. Rin looks ruffled for a moment before leading them to an empty table.

“It's time for my break anyway. Hey Sousuke, come here and take your break too,” Rin calls.

Sousuke sits down, feeling slightly awkward. Gou smiles and tells him he looks great too, Ryuugazaki regards him curiously and Hazuki looks ready to pounce.

“You guys didn't come with Haru and Makoto?” Rin says, smoothing his waistcoat and fixing his hair.

“They said they might come later,” Gou says, and turns around to say something to Sousuke, but Hazuki beats her to the punch.

“Hey Sou-chan, how've you been?”

Sou-chan? “Um, I'm fine, thanks,” he stammers.

“How are you holding up with college? Rin-chan mentioned you're thinking of getting a degree in Economics.”

Sousuke glances sideways at Rin, but he's already deep in conversation with Ryuugazaki. They sound like they're rattling statistics at each other.

Gou nods approvingly. “I think you'll do great in that, Sousuke-kun. Formulas and theories have always come easy to you.”

“Eh, is that so? You must be really smart, Sou-chan! That kind of stuff is really hard for me. Maybe we can get together to study? Or for dinner some night! Ai-chan and Momo-chan should come too! Yeah, sounds like a plan! Oh, do you want some of this?” Hazuki says, pulling out a pastry covered in a suspicious looking substance out of nowhere. Sousuke politely refuses and sips at his coffee.

“Nagisa-kun! What did I tell you about watching your diet? I'm not going to let you slack off now the weather's getting colder!” Gou fumes and Sousuke tunes them out as they start arguing good-naturedly.

“...But according to Hamilton, the angle of entry has to be lower, for maximum effect...” he overhears Ryuugazaki say, and frowns. That name sounds familiar.

“Did you just say Hamilton?” Sousuke grunts at a startled Ryuugazaki. Rin turns to look at him and smirks.

“Don't tell me you're still going on about that. This guy here,” Rin says to Ryuugazaki, throwing an arm around Sousuke, “has the biggest hate on for Hamilton and I've never been able to find out why.”

“Because he's full of shit, that's why. Listen, Ryuugazaki, if you want to read a real book, you should get the Peterson one.”

“Oh, yes! I've heard it's really good, but it's out of print and I haven't been able to find it anywhere.”

“I think I have my copy back in my room. I can lend it to you if you want.”

“Y-yes, I would love that!”

Sousuke hurries the last of his coffee, which is lukewarm now, and heads for the dorm. He's glad for the excuse to get away. Hazuki and Ryuugazaki seem decent, but Sousuke isn't the most skilled at social interaction.

He combs through his stuff, finding an old student anthology named _Ice Cream_ that he'd thought he'd lost in the process, and returns to the makeshift cafe, Peterson's _The Technicalities of Swimming_ in hand. When he gets there, Rin and Ryuugazaki are standing at the entrance, talking.

“I'd better get back to work. See you, Rei,” Rin says, pats Ryuugazaki on the shoulder, and marches inside.

“Here you go,” Sousuke offers the book which Ryuugazaki takes with aplomb.

“Thank you very much, Yamazaki-san! I'll get it back to you as soon as I'm done with it.”

“No need. You can keep it.” He almost adds 'I don't need it anymore' but he bites his tongue before the words can get out. Judging by the glance Ryuugazaki is throwing at him from behind the book, however, the guy heard it all the same.

“Are you on rehab, then? How is that going?”

Sousuke shrugs. “It's... going. Slow, but it's too soon to say if it's getting better or not.”

“Patience is a virtue,” Ryuugazaki states sagely, pushing up his glasses and doing a funny gesture with his hand. He looks at Sousuke with determination. “I... I hope this doesn't come off as rude, but when I saw your swimming, I thought it was very beautiful. Your butterfly looks a lot like Rin-san's, and I think it would be a shame if, erm...” He trails away.

Sousuke nods, but he can't think of anything to say.

“Um, well, Gou-san and Nagisa-kun are waiting for me; I'll let you get back to work. Thanks again!” Ryuugazaki says and scampers off.

Sousuke gets back to butler duty, the encounter sitting on his mind. Really, the Iwatobi team is such a weird bunch.

*

He's still going out for nightly jogs with Rin. The air is crisp and helps clear his head, but it's been getting chillier and chillier. Soon he will have to break out the heavier clothing.

“Hey, wanna go watch a movie with me and Gou on Sunday?” Rin says one night, when they've been running in silence for a good half hour.

“I have to study,” he says.

“Come on, you've been holed up in our room for how many weeks now? You could use a little break.”

“Okay, sure.” Sometimes it irks him a bit how easily Rin can get him to agree to go along with his plans, but he dismisses the thought. He trusts Rin. “Wait a second, is it a romantic movie and you're embarrassed to go with your sister or something?”

“No, it's not! And I'm not embarrassed!”

“No? What is it then?”

“I-it's a surprise,” Rin grumbles, and that is definitely a blush on his cheeks. Not embarrassed? Yeah, right.

But as it turns out, it's not actually a romantic movie.

That Sunday, Gou meets up with them at the theater just in time for the movie. “This was his idea, you know,” she says, watching Rin come back to them, his hands full with the refreshments he'd just gone to buy.

The movie is _Agent Sagara versus SOS Dan_ , a tie-in for a cartoon Sousuke had been a fan of as a kid. He's completely entranced by it, by the characters he now remembers he loved so much. At the requisite emotional scene, his eyes even tingle a little.

“That was a great movie!” Gou says when they're making their way back. “Did you cry this time, onii-chan?”

“What do you mean, this time? And _no_ , I didn't cry. Sousuke was the one holding back his tears,” Rin says, playfully nudging his sister on the head.

“That's not true,” Sousuke protests, but Gou is laughing freely and Rin is smirking at him with slightly puffy eyes, and it's hard not to join them.

*

Hazuki makes good on his word and invites him to an impromptu get together on a Friday night, along with Rin, Nitori and Mikoshiba. At Nanase's place.

When the four arrive, Gou greets them and ushers them into the living room, where Tachibana and Ryuugazaki are already setting the table. Rin goes straight to the kitchen, where Nanase is keeping an eye on the food, and helps Hazuki bring the drinks.

Soon they're all settled and ready to attack the pizzas. “No fish on the menu? I'm impressed, Haru,” Rin digs, elbowing Nanase's side teasingly. Sousuke manages to try at least one slice of every variety. They're pretty good, he has to admit.

At times like these, when he's in a big group where everyone is talking to each other, he prefers to sit back and people-watch. Nitori, Mikoshiba, Ryuugazaki and Gou are in the middle of an animated conversation about their opinions on the best diet for swimmers. Mikoshiba is miraculously behaving himself around Gou, though that might have to do with Rin glaring daggers at him every other lull of the conversation. Rin is talking to Hazuki and Tachibana about a band called After School Cake Time or some such, and Nanase, who had come to sit beside Sousuke by coincidence, is silently chewing on his food.

Sousuke coughs. His gut tells him that talking now will most likely just make things more awkward, but he knows he's going to open his big mouth anyway.

“Hey, Nanase,” he begins, unsure. “I probably came off too strongly the last couple of times we talked. I was probably venting my problems on you, but...” He cringes at himself and doesn't continue.

Nanase regards him for a moment and nods. “It's okay. I also...” but he stops speaking as well. Then he produces a plate from his side of the table. It's half full of croquettes. “Want some?”

Sousuke eyes the plate and then the impassive Nanase. “Thanks,” he says, taking one to conceal the quirk he can feel on his lips.

Later, when they've settled the bills and are on their way to catch the last train back to Samezuka campus, Rin falls into step beside him. Nitori and Mikoshiba are walking ahead, arguing about something and not paying attention to them.

“So are you two getting along now?” Rin says. Under the dim light, he looks soft and fuzzy around the edges, almost like an apparition.

“Huh?”

“You and Haru, I mean. I, uh, had the feeling you didn't like him very much.”

Damn him. “I have no idea what you're talking about,” he huffs, but Rin is laughing and he knows it's no use.

“I'm glad, Sousuke.”

*

Three days before Christmas, Nakagawa breaks up with his girlfriend and, in a fit of desperation, manages to sneak an extraordinary amount of cheap beer into his dorm room. The word gets around and by midnight, Nakagawa's room is crowded to the brim with the members of the swim team, trying to make as little sound as possible. They succeed only partially, but they must be incredibly lucky because no one comes knocking to tell them to quiet down, or to confiscate the alcohol and give them an official admonishment.

When the beer runs out a few hours later, Sousuke and Rin stumble back to their room, with an arm thrown around each other's shoulder for support. Rin trips and falls to the floor as soon as they're inside, dragging Sousuke down with him. They get into a more comfortable position but stay lying on the floor, giggling like children.

Eventually they calm down, and Sousuke starts to drift off, not caring that there's a perfectly functional bed only a few steps away, but then he feels a hand closing gently on top of his.

“Sousuke,” comes Rin's sleepy voice.

Sousuke cranes his neck to look at him, and Rin looks so fond and _open_ that... Fuck. Sousuke can't keep trying to deny it. He's completely gone for his best friend.

“Hm?” he swallows. He doesn't trust himself with words right now.

Rin looks at him for one long moment from under heavy eyelids.

“Did you have a good year?” he asks in a low, almost secretive voice, thumb rubbing slow circles over the back of Sousuke's hand.

Sousuke thinks. He knows that there were times this past year when he felt lost and didn't know what to do, but now that he's trying to remember, he can't find any bad memories; in his recollections, there's only pleasant, happy feelings and Rin's warm eyes.

He feels a smile blooming on his face.

“Yeah.”

“Good,” says Rin, reflecting the smile right back at him.

*

The entrance exams loom over like a windstorm, and Sousuke is frantically doing last minute revisions. He's having Rin help him with English one day, both of them exhausted, when Rin brings up something out of the blue.

“Have you thought about what you want for our five year promise?”

Sousuke blinks. “Oh, right. I ended up racing you for the spot in the team, huh...”

“Don't tell me you completely forgot about it.”

Sousuke gives him a smile and a shrug, and Rin groans long-sufferingly.

A dangerous thought crosses his mind, but he stamps it down immediately. He's sure Rin would punch him if he said it out loud.

“Then...” his hand moves without his permission, closing around the necklace Rin is wearing. “This. You got it in Australia, right? Maybe I can use it as an amulet. You know, for the exams.”

Rin looks at him so seriously that Sousuke is about to tell him to forget it, he'll think about something else, but then Rin takes the necklace off and places it around Sousuke's neck.

“There you go, then,” Rin strokes Sousuke's chest where the pendant lies. “You'll do well.”

And then, after all the studying and all the worrying, the exams are over so quickly that he almost feels like it was all a dream. He doesn't manage to get into his first choice, but his grades are good enough for his second choice, and he's... pretty happy about it, actually.

The rest of the school year passes in a haze, and the day comes for the third years to retire and for Rin to pass on his captaincy. When the other team members start to leave, Nitori and Mikoshiba approach Sousuke with a going away gift, a trinket in the shape of a whale shark. He takes it with a smile and keeps the memory of Nitori's teary eyes and Mikoshiba's wide grin. He's almost reluctant to admit it, but he's really going to miss these guys.

He stays after everyone leaves, contemplating the quiet pool, until the light of the sunset starts to flood the premises with red.

This is wrong, he thinks. Still waters in a pool built for competitive swimming have always made him feel antsy and uncomfortable; they're supposed to be always in turmoil, alive with the exertion and passion of swimmers vying for a dream bigger than themselves.

But Sousuke is not the one who gets to fire up these waters anymore.

He turns to leave, but then Rin appears in front of him, telling him not to give up, that he'll be waiting for him, eyes so full of hope that it's like a million pinpricks of light on Sousuke's skin.

And he wants. Sometimes, he wants so much.

He says he'll think about it, not daring to look at Rin in the eye for fear of making promises he's not sure he can keep. He heads towards the exit, thinking Rin will do the same and walk by his side, but a hand closes around his arm.

“There's something else,” Rin says. His eyes have lost the glossy sheen and now he has that look he gets when he's about to jump into the pool. “And... if I don't say this now, I'm not sure I ever will.”

Sousuke waits. Rin opens his mouth, frowns, and doesn't come out with it.

“Oh, screw it,” Rin groans, grabs Sousuke by the lapels of his jacket and presses their lips together.

Sousuke wishes he could say he reacted to the kiss in a smooth fashion. He wishes he could say he wrapped his arms around Rin, brought him closer, and kissed him deeply, like he's wanted for such a long time.

Instead, he freezes in place, his brain in short circuit, while Rin slides his lips warmly over his. It doesn't take long for Rin to pull back.

“I...” Rin looks up at him and scrunches his nose the way he does when he's confronted with a particularly difficult math problem. “Did I get this completely wrong? Don't you want this?”

This shakes Sousuke out. “What? No. I mean, yes, I want this. Of course I want it.” He puts his hands on Rin's hips. “But I didn't think you did.”

“Really? Why not? This... _thing_ between us hasn't exactly been...” Rin stops, clicks his tongue, and frowns some more.

Sousuke licks his lips self-consciously, feeling utterly disoriented. “Dunno. I guess I thought you only saw me as your friend? It just didn't seem like...”

“You think too much sometimes, Sousuke,” Rin says, shaking his head.

“Please. Look who's talking.”

“Shut up.” Rin smiles and lightly runs the pads of his fingers over Sousuke's cheeks. “We're quite the pair, aren't we.”

This time, Sousuke replies not with his words. They stay there long enough that the sky gets almost entirely dark outside.

*

They graduate.

At the airport, they part with a fist bump. Sousuke wants to do more, and the look on Rin's face is saying he feels the same, but the place is much too crowded.

“Be seeing you, then.”

“Yeah. I'll come back to Japan for Christmas, but I might come before that, so. Let's keep in touch.”

“Take care, Rin,” Sousuke smiles, and turns away into a plane that will take him to a city he knows but feels wholly new this time around.

His apartment is very small but serviceable. There's a coffee shop right around the corner, where he applies for a part-time job as soon as he sees they're hiring—because his parents may have told him not to worry about the money, but he's determined to be responsible for himself—and prepares to settle into a new routine.

The first day of classes, he crosses paths with Mikoshiba the older.

“Yo, Yamazaki!” Mikoshiba greets him boisterously in the middle of a corridor. A couple of passersby look at him with disapproval. “That's right, Momotarou told me you were coming here! How are you finding the place?”

“It's, uh, very nice, but I haven't seen much yet,” Sousuke says, thinking that he's going to have to start calling him senpai now.

“Of course, of course! Listen, I have to run now, but you have my email, right? If you need anything, just ask. Oh, and you can come by the pool any time you like! I'll show you around.” And then Mikoshiba is gone, taking his booming voice with him.

Sousuke enters a classroom, finds an empty seat and waits for the teacher to arrive. He's rummaging through his bag when he hears a familiar voice call his name.

“Sousuke? Wow, what a coincidence! I didn't even know you were here in Tokyo!” It's Shigino Kisumi, sitting down next to him. “Do you have your next class in this room too?”

Sousuke nods, a bit taken aback, but the teacher chooses that moment to show up and they don't have the time to chat. After their classes are over, they stay at the entrance of the building, catching up for a good hour and making plans to study together.

It's good to have an old friend around, Sousuke thinks as he's making his way back to his apartment; he just hopes Kisumi won't start telling embarrassing stories about their childhood to anyone who will listen.

*

Dr. Furukawa had referred Sousuke to one of her colleagues in Tokyo, one Dr. Okazaki, with whom Sousuke schedules an appointment during his second week in the city. Dr. Okazaki, a kindly older man, listens to him attentively when he relates his story, observes his latest X-ray and tells him to continue with Dr. Furukawa's plan, seeing as it's going so well. Sousuke leaves the clinic feeling a sliver of hope that he doesn't want to acknowledge just yet.

Sousuke and Kisumi make friends and form a study group with two guys and three girls from their classes, and between schoolwork and his job, Sousuke finds that he doesn't have a lot of free time. He's very tired when the weekends come, but he's still doing his rehab exercises religiously.

He and Rin have taken to sending each other inane emails every other day. One night, when he's getting his dinner out of the microwave, his phone buzzes.

_Today we saw a koala that looked exactly like you_ , it reads.

Sousuke chuckles despite himself and texts back with a simple _Jerk_.

It takes him a while to work up the courage to take up Mikoshiba's invitation. The day he does actually pass by the swim club, Mikoshiba isn't there, so he stands back and watches the swimmers hard at work.

It feels... strange, but not altogether bad.

*

One day, in the middle of a lull in his working hours, an unexpected customer shows up at the coffee shop.

“Yamazaki-kun! How are you? How's school going?” It's Tachibana, sporting his ever-present friendly smile.

“Fine, thanks. I have some classes with Shigino Kisumi, actually,” Sousuke says as he passes Tachibana's order to him.

“Oh, I didn't realize you two were in this area! We should get together sometime. I'm having lunch with Haru this Friday, if you would like to come.”

“Can't. Maybe some other time. I'll tell Kisumi though. So you and Nanase get together often?”

“Not so much, as it happens. I think the last time we met was around three weeks ago... We're both a lot busier than we thought we'd be,” Tachibana says with a rueful smile. Sousuke knows very well how that feels.

A group of people enters the shop.

“Well, I'll let you get back to work. See you around!” Tachibana waves him goodbye and goes on his way.

It occurs to Sousuke then that a meet-up with Kisumi, Nanase and Tachibana might not be the best course of action if he wants to avoid embarrassment.

He tells Kisumi about the encounter and the guy gets so excited that he contacts Tachibana and makes plans for that Sunday, convincing Sousuke to tag along as well. The four meet in the early afternoon for drinks. It's a bit awkward for Sousuke – but not for Kisumi. That guy must have been born impervious to embarrassment. On the whole, it's not so bad that it makes him want to crawl under the table, and he even manages to have a full conversation with Nanase, so he counts it as a win.

*

During summer break, Sousuke goes with Mikoshiba to watch Nationals. Samezuka has made it into the medley relay race, as well as several individual races, younger Mikoshiba in backstroke among them. Nitori shines with pride as he shows off the team to them.

He also bumps into Gou and her Iwatobi group.

“Looks like you have your hands full this year,” he says to her. Hazuki and Ryuugazaki wave at them on their way to the lockers, a handful of new faces trailing behind them.

“Oh, you have no idea,” Gou sighs. “Probably why Kimura-kun broke up with me.”

“What? You have a boyfriend?”

“Don't sound so shocked! Anyway, no, not anymore. He confessed to me, and I-I liked him.” She blushes exactly like Rin, Sousuke thinks. “So we went on a few dates for two weeks, and then he told me wanted to break it off. He was 'too jealous,'” Gou says, crossing her arms and huffing.

“Don't tell me he was jealous of your love for muscles,” Sousuke says with amusement.

“Exactly. And he's in our baseball club, so it's not like he has anything to be jealous of!”

Sousuke laughs and pats her on the head. “He sounds like an ass. Don't worry, you'll find someone much better.”

Gou looks surprised for a second, then smiles at him. “Thanks, Sousuke-kun.”

When he's back home, he texts Rin.

_Did you know your sister got a boyfriend?_

The reply is predictably fast.

_What the fuck, she didn't say anything. Who??_

_Some guy from her school. But don't worry, they already broke up._

_GOOD_

*

Mid-October, Dr. Okazaki gives him a clean bill of health and tells him they can finish the treatment.

“You should try working it a bit harder, see how it goes. Do come back if you notice it hurts even a bit, but I'm confident it will go well. I know you've learned how to pace yourself now.”

Sousuke is conflicted, to say the least. The past few months he'd completely forgotten most of the time; his shoulder didn't hurt at all and he could move it normally. A couple of times he'd allowed his mind to wander and to hope, but he never actually thought... And there is simply no guarantee that his times will be as good as before, or that the exigent training won't make him break down again.

So he stalls. And he broods.

His ruminations must show on his face, however, because two weeks later, Kisumi says, “Seriously, Sousuke, what's wrong? Lately you look like you're plotting vengeance on your nemesis or something. You'll scare people off with that face!”

Sousuke takes a deep breath. “My doctor told me that my shoulder is doing fine and I should try swimming again.”

“Really? That's amazing, Sousuke! But why are you looking so down, then?”

“What if...” Sousuke grimaces. “What if I try and it's still not good enough?”

“Then at least you'll know, won't you?” Kisumi shrugs. “Come on, this isn't like you. The Sousuke I know is always ready to face the world head on.”

He's not wrong, Sousuke muses. He calls Mikoshiba, who is only too happy to help him out, and they go to the indoor pool at night, when there's no one else around to watch.

The water looks so calm. He hasn't swum at all since that last relay, more than a year ago.

Sousuke climbs the platform and takes the starting position, heart thumping wildly in his ears, but when he hits the water, he feels surprisingly light, weightless, as if floating. He does a few laps of freestyle first, not wanting to go all out on his first try, and when he realizes how well it's going, he climbs up again to try butterfly this time.

It feels wonderful.

He swims until he's too tired to keep going. There's an ache in his shoulder, but it's the same ache he's feeling all over his body, like it's throbbing with energy well spent. As he gets out of the pool, he chances a look at Mikoshiba, who is smiling and looking at him with an expectant gleam in his eyes.

“You're a natural, Yamazaki.”

*

Mikoshiba puts in a word for him, and soon he is training again. His times have definitely taken a hit, but it's not as bad as he had feared, and the coach says he shows a lot of promise. He spends a lot more time now stretching and warming up than he did back in middle and high school.

His mother cries when he calls his parents to tell them the news.

Sousuke resolves not to tell Rin just yet. It's still too new, and he wants to be able to face Rin properly when they reunite in the water.

*

Winter break comes at last. When Sousuke goes back to his parents' place, Rin is already back in Japan with his family.

Sousuke has made some plans for the short time they'll have together. If he plays his cards right, he might even get something beyond kissing this time.

His first day back, he spends the whole morning catching up with his parents, who are overjoyed to have him back. After lunch, he trots towards the Matsuoka household, where he's received with hugs from three different pairs of arms.

Rin looks happy and content and, if possible, in even better shape than before. Australia has been really good for him.

They send each other surreptitious looks and touches whenever they think they can get away with it, but there's not much they can do with Gou and Mrs. Matsuoka around.

When Sousuke makes his excuses, thinking he should probably start getting ready to take Rin out for dinner, Rin insists on going back with him. They walk back to Sousuke's house side by side, hands almost but not quite touching.

They arrive to find that Sousuke's parents have left.

“Oh, that's a shame, it's been too long since I last saw them,” Rin says, and makes a beeline towards Sousuke's room without even waiting for him.

Sousuke follows, and barely has the time to close the door behind him before Rin swiftly pins him against the wall, heated lips on his neck and hands roaming everywhere, murmuring _God you're so hot_ and other nonsense. Before Sousuke can gather himself enough to take a more proactive role, Rin undoes Sousuke's belt and plunges his hand down his pants. His grip is almost vicious and it's all really fucking uncomfortable, but Sousuke is already panting wildly and doesn't last more than a minute.

He slacks against the wall, grateful for it and for Rin's arm around his waist. When he opens his eyes, he sees a sight he never imagined he would see: Rin studiously licking his own fingers, the same fingers that had been wrapped around Sousuke's cock just a moment ago.

“Was it good?” Rin breathes out.

“Uh huh,” is all Sousuke can manage.

Rin kisses him like he laughs, like a quick burst of light. “Wanna suck me off, then?” he says, eyes heated and cheeks blushing furiously.

Sousuke gulps and nods. So much for his plans.

Several rounds later, Sousuke lies on top of Rin on his bed, legs tangled, his face buried in Rin's neck. “You're so heavy,” Rin mutters, but doesn't push him away, and slowly cards his fingers through Sousuke's hair. They stay in silence for some minutes, and Sousuke starts to feel sleepy.

“I'm coming back in June,” Rin says.

Sousuke snaps his eyes open and lifts his head to look at Rin. “Seriously?”

“Yeah. I think by then, I'll have everything I can get from Australia. Time for me to come for Japan,” Rin grins as he stretches under him. Then he kisses the corner of Sousuke's lips, and whispers, “I'm still waiting for you, you know.”

Sousuke's heart skips, and he almost tells Rin right then and there. To stave off the temptation, he kisses Rin deeply, full on the lips, but the moment is broken when a loud rumble emerges from Rin's stomach. Rin grumbles and Sousuke laughs into his neck.

“I was planning to take you out for dinner. If you're still up for it.”

“Well, I'm not gonna say no to that.”

*

The next day, Sousuke and Rin go for a walk together after lunch. The chill bites at their cheeks, but it's a nice, sunny day outside. They wander through streets they know by heart, Rin babbling all the way about his teammates and life in Australia, until they finally arrive at the docks they used to pass by on their way from school, when they were children.

“—And I told Lowell that if he wanted it that much, he could race me in a sprint for it. I won, of course,” Rin says, nose in the air, and Sousuke suddenly remembers a conversation he had not too long ago.

“Nanase said he beat you when you two sprinted, back in elementary.”

“Only that one time! He just got lucky. I've beaten him every other time when we raced on land, anyway.” Rin pauses and his forehead creases. “Wait, when did Haru tell you that?”

“Back in June, I think? I ran into Tachibana at work by chance, and he invited me along. Kisumi went too.”

“You have a job? You never mentioned anything!” Rin says, eyes bulging comically.

“Oh, right. I'm working part-time at a coffee shop. I guess I forgot to tell you. Sorry?”

“Sorry my ass,” Rin scoffs. “So you've been working all this time... Well, aren't you full of surprises.”

Maybe Sousuke is just being paranoid, but he thinks he can detect an accusatory tone in Rin's words. “Cut it out, Rin,” he warns.

Rin visibly bristles. “What? It's not wrong, is it? That's just what you always do, keeping things to yourself.”

“What does it matter, anyway? You're just going to go away again soon,” Sousuke barks, and regrets it instantly.

Rin stares at him for a moment, a mixture of hurt and anger on his face, then turns and leaves. Sousuke doesn't stop him.

Sousuke clicks his tongue, stamps his way to the edge of the dock, and sits down. Watching the water, he realizes he isn't actually mad at Rin. Sousuke doesn't even blame him at all – he _is_ hiding something rather big from Rin, after all. He's just angry at himself for falling into it so easily.

This is how it's always been between the two of them, he tells himself. They may get along most of the time, but they also have a way of lighting each other's fuses in a veritable explosion that never fails to leave Sousuke feeling like shit.

He doesn't know how long he's been sitting there, staring at the coming and going of the waves until his mood cools down, when he hears footsteps approaching. He looks up to find Rin striding purposefully towards him.

“I'm sorry,” Rin says, remorseful and genuine. “It's up to you what you want to tell me or not, I know that. And every time I left—”

“No,” Sousuke interrupts. “I... Okay, it did hurt sometimes, but I am really glad that you chose the path you did. I mean it,” he adds, perhaps with unnecessary force, but it seems really important that Rin understand him now.

Rin smiles at him and offers him a hand. Sousuke takes it and stands up, but doesn't let go. They stay still for a minute, gazing into each other's eyes and holding hands, until Sousuke's instincts tell him they're about to enter dangerously sappy territory.

“I'm freezing. Let's get something hot to drink, shall we?” he says, attempting to defuse the situation.

Rin rolls his eyes, clearly seeing right through him, but he's still smiling.

They spend the entirety of the following day fucking to make up for this one. Rin is staying for little over a week, so they need to make the most of the time they have.

*

Saying goodbye at the airport is a lot easier now. They've gotten the desire for more than a fist bump thoroughly out of their systems—for now, anyway—and there is a definite date for their next reunion, so when they part, they can do it with a meaningful smile and a brush of their fingers.

Sousuke throws himself into swimming. Rin is not the only one he's looking forward to racing in an official capacity; Mikoshiba is a formidable swimmer and he hasn't forgotten about Nanase, making an effort at his own school.

There is nothing more satisfying or more addictive than the feeling of the water rippling over his skin as he emerges and confirms that his times are getting better every day, but he makes a conscious effort not to overdo himself. The coach, Mikoshiba, and several of his teammates are constantly on his back about it, so it's not like he can forget even if he wanted to.

Gou calls him one day to pester him over not telling Rin about his comeback yet, and to inform him that she'll be going to university in Kyoto with a friend of hers. He realizes that he had half-expected her to come to Tokyo and live close to him again, but she sounds really excited, and Sousuke can't feel anything but happiness for her.

As soon as his first year of college is over, Sousuke decides to quit his job at the coffee shop. Ever since he joined the swim team, he hasn't had any free time at all, and even struggled somewhat with his final exams. The wages were not so good anyway.

His second year of college starts much the same as the first, except that it's really not the same at all. He feels much more confident in his own skin, and he has several people close at hand that he can rely on. It's going to be a good year, he thinks.

And Rin is coming back soon.

*

“Change of plans. I'm coming back May tenth,” Rin greets through the phone.

“... Good day to you too,” Sousuke says, preparing his morning coffee with one hand. “Isn't that really soon?”

“I thought I should have more time to settle into things, you know; summer will start before we know it and I have to be ready for it. I've already arranged for an apartment there in Tokyo, pretty close to yours.”

“Where is it?”

Rin tells him the address.

Sousuke makes some mental calculations. “Hm, that's about fifteen minutes by train from here. I would have offered you my place, but it's barely big enough for one.”

“So you've said.” Rin clears his throat. “I... I thought about telling you to look for a place together, but – it would still be temporary, wouldn't it? And we're probably not at that stage yet. I think.”

Sousuke takes a moment to picture himself and Rin checking out properties together. It's as thrilling as it is terrifying. “No, you're right. Besides...”

“What?”

“I don't think I'm ready to tell my parents yet. About us.”

“Yeah, me too. I mean, Gou would probably take it in stride, but I'm not sure how my mom would react.”

They stay silent for a moment. Sousuke has his suspicions that Gou might have some idea about the two of them already, but he doesn't voice them.

“Well then, Tokyo man, I'll be trusting you to show me around the city,” Rin says.

Sousuke smiles. “See you soon, Rin.”

*

Rin arrives at Tokyo on a pleasant morning, strutting out of the airport as if he owns the city. He doesn't let even three days pass before he's making plans to visit Nanase's and Mikoshiba's practices – “Mikoshiba first, because it's your school too.” Sousuke knows the time has come. There's no way he will be able to resist the urge of swimming with Rin with a pool so close at hand.

On Monday, when they both have a couple of free hours, Sousuke takes Rin for a short tour of Sousuke's campus, and they meet up with Kisumi. Sousuke is delighted that he gets to see Kisumi tease someone else for once.

“Goodness, Rin, look how you've grown! You really do have the body of a professional swimmer!” Kisumi says with the widest smile and an arm around Rin's shoulders.

Rin's face is red all over, but he looks happy and he doesn't try to push Kisumi off. “And you? You're almost as tall as Sousuke. You still playing basketball?”

“Only for fun. Wow, there's so much we need to catch up on! We need to make time for a dinner date, the three of us. I'm guessing you guys are headed for the pool now?”

“Yeah. Wanna come with?” Sousuke says, already starting to walk. Kisumi tags along and spends the trip reminiscing with Rin.

Rin's eyes sparkle when he sees the pool. “Nice. Not as nice as the one at my school, of course, but I'd love to give this one a whirl.” He spots Mikoshiba walking towards them.

“Matsuoka, welcome back to Japan! Doing recon work on rival teams already?” he says as he offers a hand for Rin to shake.

“Don't need to,” Rin grins, taking Mikoshiba's hand. “How are you doing, captain?”

“Great, thank you! I hope you've been working hard; I'm looking forward to testing your speed again. Speaking of which, are you two going to race today? The lanes are set up if you want to use them.”

Rin turns to Sousuke with a confused look. Sousuke braces himself, ignoring the sudden feeling of apprehension, and directs a placid smile at him.

“What do you say, Rin? We should take the chance, since we're here and all. Let's do 100 meters butterfly. I should warn you that I'm much better than when we last swam together, though.”

The look on Rin's face is priceless. They go to the lockers to change quickly and Rin berates him the whole time, muttering, “You bastard, how did you not tell me, I can't fucking believe you.”

“Does your shoulder hurt?” Rin asks cautiously as they exit the room.

Sousuke pauses, faces him, and says quietly, “No. It doesn't hurt at all, Rin.”

Rin looks like he wants to kiss him and punch him all at once, but he restrains himself and they take their positions at the starting blocks. Kisumi, Mikoshiba, and various members of the team are watching with interest. Sousuke is almost shaking with nerves and anticipation, and he can feel Rin's energy radiating towards him. This is _it_. This is the first time they're swimming together in almost two years, and there is nowhere Sousuke would rather be.

They both hit the water at the same time, and good god, he had forgotten what it was like to swim with Rin. There is nothing but the pure desire to win, both pushing each other to the limit, to the very best they can be.

It's intoxicating. Sousuke wants it always.

He peeks at the board as soon as his fingers hit the wall. It's a new personal best since he started swimming again, but it's a good second behind Rin's time. Rin has become an overwhelming force in the time they haven't seen each other.

He turns towards Rin with a self-deprecating comment on his lips, but sees that Rin has taken off his goggles, and there are tears streaming down his cheeks. In the blink of an eye, Rin is hugging him tightly and crying joyfully, and all that Sousuke can do is laugh and hug him back, because he is finally back home.

**Author's Note:**

> ETA: Fixed some formatting.
> 
> Full list of references to other Kyoani works:  
> Drs. Furukawa and Okazaki: Nagisa and Tomoya's surnames, from Clannad.  
> The student anthology titled Ice Cream: Hyouka.  
> Agent Sagara versus SOS Dan, the movie: Fullmetal Panic and Suzumiya Haruhi.  
> After School Cake Time: After School Tea Time, the girls' band in K-On.


End file.
